Saying aloha to a friend can be painful, especially when that friend has been at your side for 15 years. Zeus was my best friend.
It’s been a month since we said goodbye to our beautiful black Labrador, and the pain has yet to ease. I still find myself staring at the door where he greeted me every morning, hoping he’ll be there - but he’s not. I picture his gentle eyes, his wagging tail and his loving smile - but I know they are only images burned in my memory.
There is much emptiness, but sweet memories fill the void.
***
Two weeks ago I sat on my living room floor in front of my laptop with a heavy heart. I’m not sure what flowed more freely that evening, my words or my tears, as I shared our family’s tremendous loss with all of you.
Frankly, I hesitated to write a column about the death of my black Labrador Zeus. I questioned if I was overstepping my role as an ocean-related columnist. I was exposing a very raw and emotional chapter of my personal life for all to read, and it had nothing to do with the Pacific blue. In a bizarre way, I felt vulnerable not knowing how my sadness would be received.
My worries were quickly put to rest first by MidWeek editors Don Chapman and Terri Hefner, then by publisher Ron Nagasawa and finally by many of you.
Simply stated, my family and I were blown away by the heartfelt e-mails, greeting cards, phone calls and letters we received and continue to receive. I truly had no idea so many island residents have endured the roller coaster of emotions that one experiences following the loss of their best friend.
***
Our family is hurting once again after saying goodbye to a special member of our family, our sweet Nui. But while we ache, we also embrace and celebrate the memories made with our gentle Thai ridgeback. She wouldn’t want it any other way.
Several years ago, I shared a very personal story in this column about the loss of my dear friend Zeus. In January 2010, I made the most painful decision of my life when I let him go. He was suffering, and he deserved to leave this world with dignity.
Many of you expressed your condolences about our Labrador’s passing. Some of you even opened your hearts and talked about your losses. I read each email and letter with deep appreciation, and I thanked all of you individually because your well wishes and stories helped in our recovery, and eventually allowed us to move forward as a family without his physical presence. His memories were still very much alive.
Some of you may recall that we welcomed Nui into our home Jan. 14, 2012, nearly two years after saying goodbye to Zeus. I shared, in a follow-up column, my initial reluctance to open my heart to Nui, fearing I’d grieve again one day.
But those fears quickly were put to rest the moment she walked through our front door and I focused on her loving eyes. You were correct; I was able to love again. We all fell head over heels for her.
Nui was everything Zeus was not. She was quiet, while Zeus playfully barked at his own shadow. She was gentle, while Zeus tore apart every pillow, T-shirt and towel he could get his mouth on. And she was polite. Zeus was rambunctious and rowdy and sneaked into the house every chance he got.
Boy, do I still miss him! He was, after all, me.
I don’t think Zeus would mind me saying this, in fact, he’d probably agree, Nui was the smartest dog ever, and she had an uncanny gift of knowing what each of us in the house needed.
The cancer came out of nowhere and swiftly moved through her 9-year-old body.
She fought a valiant fight, but it was obvious she was tired. We struggled with the thought of losing our beautiful girl, but true to her character, she waited until she knew we were ready.
Unconditional love.
The morning finally came when we knew it was time to let her go. It was the right thing to do, for she, too, deserved to go with dignity. We know she’s running wild with Zeus right now, free of pain and free of cancer.
Thank you for the memories, Nui girl … Thank you for walking into our lives.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
tsunami day
Kimo soft barking at like 330
take him DH side to poop, but then I think I stepped on the poop :(
Pat Miller reviews Cesar Millan and other articles (see below - way below)
back to sleep
couple walking: big guy walking mastiff, lady walking beagle. It's Nalu's brother and they're here because of the tsunami.
Kimo reacts to mastiff / give bag to pick up large pile of poop on road
RMAS out / walk with them briefly
decide to go long: Makanani, there's cars parked by the cemetary and people sitting down on portable chairs. I guess they're there because of the tsunami.
Skyline, Puna, Dottie is out with Hoku
up Puna, Joey in back, doesn't bark at us, give treats as he's on stonewall (no room by gate w/ car in driveway), Ilima
WTH, go down Alewa Drive, TwinView, Mahalo, Judd (dog at corner barks at us),
three dogs instead of two (brown one jumping at wall and running in circles, new black dog trying to calm brown one with no success, big black "bear" barks)
sniff Husky while poms across street bark
down Liliha (see Gary across street getting ready to go), sniff dog across street from Chibi, visit Chibi (has less hair on rear area, has mange?), friendly puppy behind gate further down Liliha, trying to get out by squeezing under fence
Kunawai, Laki, Hala
[Sat 2/27, posted 3/1]
take him DH side to poop, but then I think I stepped on the poop :(
Pat Miller reviews Cesar Millan and other articles (see below - way below)
back to sleep
couple walking: big guy walking mastiff, lady walking beagle. It's Nalu's brother and they're here because of the tsunami.
Kimo reacts to mastiff / give bag to pick up large pile of poop on road
RMAS out / walk with them briefly
decide to go long: Makanani, there's cars parked by the cemetary and people sitting down on portable chairs. I guess they're there because of the tsunami.
Skyline, Puna, Dottie is out with Hoku
up Puna, Joey in back, doesn't bark at us, give treats as he's on stonewall (no room by gate w/ car in driveway), Ilima
WTH, go down Alewa Drive, TwinView, Mahalo, Judd (dog at corner barks at us),
three dogs instead of two (brown one jumping at wall and running in circles, new black dog trying to calm brown one with no success, big black "bear" barks)
sniff Husky while poms across street bark
down Liliha (see Gary across street getting ready to go), sniff dog across street from Chibi, visit Chibi (has less hair on rear area, has mange?), friendly puppy behind gate further down Liliha, trying to get out by squeezing under fence
Kunawai, Laki, Hala
[Sat 2/27, posted 3/1]
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
dog show DVDs
Found this Dog Whisperer infomercial for Season 1 on google
part 1, part 2, part 3
The infomercial is old and the price is high, so I wouldn't buy it from the phone number given (assuming it's still operations, which I doubt).
***
I see there's a DVD out for season one of Brad Pattison's show, In The Dog House
***
There's a DVD out for Victorial Stilwell's It's Me or the Dog too. It's not directly available from Amazon, but you can get it directly from Animal Planet.
part 1, part 2, part 3
The infomercial is old and the price is high, so I wouldn't buy it from the phone number given (assuming it's still operations, which I doubt).
***
I see there's a DVD out for season one of Brad Pattison's show, In The Dog House
***
There's a DVD out for Victorial Stilwell's It's Me or the Dog too. It's not directly available from Amazon, but you can get it directly from Animal Planet.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Kimo plays with Koa
Kimo was barking early at cats, etc.
Take him in front. Brush him. RMAS passes. Sees them but stays mostly calm, though got a little anxious briefly.
take Kimo and Hershey out
Lolena Wall, Aulii, Puna, guy walking little dog turns into Aulii. It's Hoku's neighbor. Let the dogs sniff as we hold them. He says the dog is fear aggressive, but is getting better. I say Kimo too.
Betty is going out with Kaylen and Buddha. Walk with them. Treat them and Joey in the back. Then power walk. Well, it's fast for me.
Then see Allen is outside. Take Kimo and Hershey to the gate. Popcorn on ground, but Hershey doesn't eat it (thank goodness). After a slow start, Hershey and Hoku start playing by the cars in the garage. There's two cars for Hershey to run around. Hoku gets tired after a while and lies down. Then they resume.
Come back from taking mom to dentist. Pat and Keith are out. Kimo out on steps. Must have barked.
Hear UPS truck. Go out to hold Kimo. Hold him in front of me with him facing street. Goes wild as UPS truck passes. Claws my lip (no blood) and my glasses break as I'm holding them (the right arm of the frame). Well it was about to break anyway. And they still work. Just using one side. What do you call that? Ah, they're called temples.
Kimo barking in the back. It's Koa on the ewa side. Let him in while holding Kimo's leash. No fighting. Then take Kimo out in front. They start playing. Well, Kimo started chasing Koa anyway and they were running in circles. But when Kimo started getting to close, Koa started growling. Well, it's a thin line between playing and fighting. But I think Kimo was trying to play. But I think they both never learned how to play nicely.
Take Koa home. Let him pull me because I think he was pulling me to go home. Looks like nobody was home. He seems anxious to go to gate. Open the gate, unhook him and off he goes. I see the plank of wood was crooked, so it looked like he clawed the wood away to squeeze under the gate. But didn't want to squeeze under again? Though, I've seen him do it in the past.
[Tue 2/23, posted 2/24]
Take him in front. Brush him. RMAS passes. Sees them but stays mostly calm, though got a little anxious briefly.
take Kimo and Hershey out
Lolena Wall, Aulii, Puna, guy walking little dog turns into Aulii. It's Hoku's neighbor. Let the dogs sniff as we hold them. He says the dog is fear aggressive, but is getting better. I say Kimo too.
Betty is going out with Kaylen and Buddha. Walk with them. Treat them and Joey in the back. Then power walk. Well, it's fast for me.
Then see Allen is outside. Take Kimo and Hershey to the gate. Popcorn on ground, but Hershey doesn't eat it (thank goodness). After a slow start, Hershey and Hoku start playing by the cars in the garage. There's two cars for Hershey to run around. Hoku gets tired after a while and lies down. Then they resume.
Come back from taking mom to dentist. Pat and Keith are out. Kimo out on steps. Must have barked.
Hear UPS truck. Go out to hold Kimo. Hold him in front of me with him facing street. Goes wild as UPS truck passes. Claws my lip (no blood) and my glasses break as I'm holding them (the right arm of the frame). Well it was about to break anyway. And they still work. Just using one side. What do you call that? Ah, they're called temples.
Kimo barking in the back. It's Koa on the ewa side. Let him in while holding Kimo's leash. No fighting. Then take Kimo out in front. They start playing. Well, Kimo started chasing Koa anyway and they were running in circles. But when Kimo started getting to close, Koa started growling. Well, it's a thin line between playing and fighting. But I think Kimo was trying to play. But I think they both never learned how to play nicely.
Take Koa home. Let him pull me because I think he was pulling me to go home. Looks like nobody was home. He seems anxious to go to gate. Open the gate, unhook him and off he goes. I see the plank of wood was crooked, so it looked like he clawed the wood away to squeeze under the gate. But didn't want to squeeze under again? Though, I've seen him do it in the past.
[Tue 2/23, posted 2/24]
Daddy
Daddy, the 16-year-old pit bull, co-star and family member of “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan, passed away Friday, Feb. 19, 2010, surrounded by the Millan family. Through the years, Daddy (a cancer survivor) worked alongside Cesar Millan in over 50 episodes of National Geographic Channel’s “Dog Whisperer”, modeling calm, balanced behavior.
This week Millan noted, “I’ve always seen Daddy as my teacher of life. He brought my family and me so much joy over the years. Personally, he represented what my grandfather taught me, never work against Mother Nature. He will be greatly missed, but his spirit lives on.”
***
[2/19/13]
Remember Daddy (a year after)
How Daddy Chose Junior
Remembering Daddy
This week Millan noted, “I’ve always seen Daddy as my teacher of life. He brought my family and me so much joy over the years. Personally, he represented what my grandfather taught me, never work against Mother Nature. He will be greatly missed, but his spirit lives on.”
***
[2/19/13]
Remember Daddy (a year after)
How Daddy Chose Junior
Remembering Daddy
Saturday, February 20, 2010
animal empathy
Louise Vajda of St Louis MO wrote to me about a remarkable dog named Shosty. She states:
“My husband’s parents lived in East Chicago, Indiana. My mother-in-law’s brother, John, lived with them. He was a diabetic. They had a dog named Shosty (short for Shostakovich, the Russian composer).
The brother John became ill and died. Immediately after the funeral, Shosty disappeared. Several days later a friend of the family found the dog, hungry and haggard, lying on John’s grave!
The remarkable and unbelievable part of this story is that the cemetery was many miles outside the city, and Shosty had never been there before. They had no idea how he had been able to find it.
I believe dogs have some special abilities of which we humans are unaware.”
-- Michael Fox, Animal Doctor
“My husband’s parents lived in East Chicago, Indiana. My mother-in-law’s brother, John, lived with them. He was a diabetic. They had a dog named Shosty (short for Shostakovich, the Russian composer).
The brother John became ill and died. Immediately after the funeral, Shosty disappeared. Several days later a friend of the family found the dog, hungry and haggard, lying on John’s grave!
The remarkable and unbelievable part of this story is that the cemetery was many miles outside the city, and Shosty had never been there before. They had no idea how he had been able to find it.
I believe dogs have some special abilities of which we humans are unaware.”
-- Michael Fox, Animal Doctor
how to walk WITH your dog
Note the emphasis on WITH (as opposed to..)
A staple of any relationship that you share with a canine companion is “the walk”. Walking is a time for you and your dog to be on the hunt together, taking in the smells of the neighborhood (or park, or woods, or wherever) and enjoying your experience of the world in all its stimulating-your-emotions glory. Yet for many of us, walking with our dogs is a struggle of excess: too much stopping when we want to go, too much going when we want to stop, too much jumping on people, too much pulling, etc. The nerve of our dogs, having their own agenda when we’re out trying to get some walking done! In this article we’re going to talk about how to cure the struggle, which is actually simpler than you might think – because it’s all about your focus and expectations when you’re walking together.
The best way to walk with your dog boils down to these three steps:
Focus.
Play and Train.
Occasionally manage.
-- from Neil Sattin
A staple of any relationship that you share with a canine companion is “the walk”. Walking is a time for you and your dog to be on the hunt together, taking in the smells of the neighborhood (or park, or woods, or wherever) and enjoying your experience of the world in all its stimulating-your-emotions glory. Yet for many of us, walking with our dogs is a struggle of excess: too much stopping when we want to go, too much going when we want to stop, too much jumping on people, too much pulling, etc. The nerve of our dogs, having their own agenda when we’re out trying to get some walking done! In this article we’re going to talk about how to cure the struggle, which is actually simpler than you might think – because it’s all about your focus and expectations when you’re walking together.
The best way to walk with your dog boils down to these three steps:
Focus.
Play and Train.
Occasionally manage.
-- from Neil Sattin
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Miki attacked
took Kimo out. Saw Dottie on Aulii walking Hoku, so I caught up and joined them. Hoku had a choke chain on so I showed Dottie to put the chain up higher. But they reverted when I let go.
Up to Ilima and back to Aulii.
Saw Ann walking as I was coming back. She said one of Nalu's dogs got loose as RMAS were coming out and ran to Miki. Kimo was out and kicked and chased the dog back home.
Learned form Amy lady later that the dog went after Miki's butt and Reina said (today) that she got a little nip on the butt, but no real damage. Which sort of sounds strange. Maybe Reina turned Miki away.
[Sat 2/13, posted 2/14]
Up to Ilima and back to Aulii.
Saw Ann walking as I was coming back. She said one of Nalu's dogs got loose as RMAS were coming out and ran to Miki. Kimo was out and kicked and chased the dog back home.
Learned form Amy lady later that the dog went after Miki's butt and Reina said (today) that she got a little nip on the butt, but no real damage. Which sort of sounds strange. Maybe Reina turned Miki away.
[Sat 2/13, posted 2/14]
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Hoku is learning
take Kimo out
feed Kimo treat as Miki & Shammy come closer (by Kawamura house)
Gerald drops off Hershey, follow RMAS at a distance for a while, then turn around
Lolena Hill, Hillcreast, pitbull goes wild, have Kimo sit with back to him, Skyline
see Allen out w/ Hoku, then see Betty walking with Kaylen and Buddha, walk with them
treat Joey in back, try to wait for him to stop barking before I feed him
little Betty sniffs at Buddha, snarls at Hershey to back off
take Hershey to play w/ Hoku,
Hoku now doesn't bother to chase Hershey around car, stops and waits for Hershey to come around
Kimo snarls at Hoku when she come too close
Then in the afternoon:
barks at Keith / take Kimo for lap
look at Betty's tree on where to cut / walk w/ Vern when he comes out
Charlotte & Roy walk / Stephen jogs / Keith barks
Kimo just watches and doesn't bark / until Roy comes closer to ask me if that's AOP behind us
doesn't bark at lady
[Tue 2/9, posted 2/10]
feed Kimo treat as Miki & Shammy come closer (by Kawamura house)
Gerald drops off Hershey, follow RMAS at a distance for a while, then turn around
Lolena Hill, Hillcreast, pitbull goes wild, have Kimo sit with back to him, Skyline
see Allen out w/ Hoku, then see Betty walking with Kaylen and Buddha, walk with them
treat Joey in back, try to wait for him to stop barking before I feed him
little Betty sniffs at Buddha, snarls at Hershey to back off
take Hershey to play w/ Hoku,
Hoku now doesn't bother to chase Hershey around car, stops and waits for Hershey to come around
Kimo snarls at Hoku when she come too close
Then in the afternoon:
barks at Keith / take Kimo for lap
look at Betty's tree on where to cut / walk w/ Vern when he comes out
Charlotte & Roy walk / Stephen jogs / Keith barks
Kimo just watches and doesn't bark / until Roy comes closer to ask me if that's AOP behind us
doesn't bark at lady
[Tue 2/9, posted 2/10]
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Pueo Park / fight at Moanalua
take to Pueo Park
go for a lap, let him loose to follow me, but he goes up trail
Keehi Lagoon, see Cat's car, see Lori, Joyce, Bry but no Cat (or dog), so I drive esp. since no parking space
Moanalua dog park. Lots of dogs
decide to go in.
lots of dogs coming out as I come in, open gate, dog fight, pull up Kimo's leash
Not sure what happened. Maybe Kimo growled and the other dog went after him.
dogs come to sniff, he backs off, but allows himself to get sniffed as he walks away
he goes to fence to leave
decide to walk outside perimeter and go around to sidewalk and cross street
In the afternoon, see some green pods stuck to his hind leg. Have him lie down and try to pull off. He softly growls. But I hold him but have a hard time getting it off.
Later I try again and finally pull it off. Most of it anyway. Then pull off the rest when he goes to the front steps.
[Sun 2/7, posted 2/8]
go for a lap, let him loose to follow me, but he goes up trail
Keehi Lagoon, see Cat's car, see Lori, Joyce, Bry but no Cat (or dog), so I drive esp. since no parking space
Moanalua dog park. Lots of dogs
decide to go in.
lots of dogs coming out as I come in, open gate, dog fight, pull up Kimo's leash
Not sure what happened. Maybe Kimo growled and the other dog went after him.
dogs come to sniff, he backs off, but allows himself to get sniffed as he walks away
he goes to fence to leave
decide to walk outside perimeter and go around to sidewalk and cross street
In the afternoon, see some green pods stuck to his hind leg. Have him lie down and try to pull off. He softly growls. But I hold him but have a hard time getting it off.
Later I try again and finally pull it off. Most of it anyway. Then pull off the rest when he goes to the front steps.
[Sun 2/7, posted 2/8]
Friday, February 5, 2010
Hershey and Hoku play again
take Kimo and Hershey out
Reina is back w/ Miki; Amy w/ Shammy
Kimo growls a little, go up driveway and hold him under my leg
Let them pass and continue on
Mochi is loose, comes on road to Hershey, Hershey wants to play
walk Hershey back to lawn so Mochi follows as Ann waits in doorway holding baby
Lolena Place, Big Boy runs and barks, min pin barks, go up the hill
down Kamalii, Hillcrest, pitbull barks, Big Whitey at corner comes out
up Skyline, Allen is out w/ Hoku, take Hershey to her and they play on the leash
Allen hauls Hoku home so they can play there
As I go out, I see Betty out w/ Kaylen and Buddha, so we walk w/ her first
Lulu barks, Joey barks
go to back of Joey's house and treat the dogs with bits of jerky
finally take Hershey to Hoku. Unlike they last time, Hershey plays. They go to garage and Hershey runs around the car with Hoku in chase. They wrestle. Then Hershey runs around the car again. Hoku whines looking under the car because she can't catch him.
They play for quite a while longer before they start to tire. Then I take Hershey and Kimo home.
[Fri 2/5, posted 2/7am]
Reina is back w/ Miki; Amy w/ Shammy
Kimo growls a little, go up driveway and hold him under my leg
Let them pass and continue on
Mochi is loose, comes on road to Hershey, Hershey wants to play
walk Hershey back to lawn so Mochi follows as Ann waits in doorway holding baby
Lolena Place, Big Boy runs and barks, min pin barks, go up the hill
down Kamalii, Hillcrest, pitbull barks, Big Whitey at corner comes out
up Skyline, Allen is out w/ Hoku, take Hershey to her and they play on the leash
Allen hauls Hoku home so they can play there
As I go out, I see Betty out w/ Kaylen and Buddha, so we walk w/ her first
Lulu barks, Joey barks
go to back of Joey's house and treat the dogs with bits of jerky
finally take Hershey to Hoku. Unlike they last time, Hershey plays. They go to garage and Hershey runs around the car with Hoku in chase. They wrestle. Then Hershey runs around the car again. Hoku whines looking under the car because she can't catch him.
They play for quite a while longer before they start to tire. Then I take Hershey and Kimo home.
[Fri 2/5, posted 2/7am]
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