THERE ARE PET owners. And then there
are those who have a best friend, confidant or
“child” who happens to walk on all fours. For
those in the second group, the book A Letter
to My Dog, a set of love letters from 57 pet
owners to their dogs, is proof that to be headover-
heels devoted to your pet is to be in
good company.
The missives are penned by celebrities,
including singer Tony Bennett, actor and
writer Tyler Perry and former basketball
coach Pat Summitt, along with everyday people
smitten with their dogs. The letters are
filled with words such as “hero,” “funny,” “loyalty”
and “unconditional.” Whether they’re
signed with a name, as a friend or in any variation
on the words for parent, each letter
shows the unwavering love these people have
for their dogs.
The idea came up over dinner with
friends Kimi Culp and Robin Layton and
publisher Geoff Blackwell. “I brought up the
idea of doing a dog book, one that, through
letters, would capture the unique and transformational
bond we share with our beloved
pets,” she says. The idea was to show pet owners
and non-pet owners the power of that
kind of unconditional love. “On the spot, a
collaboration was born.”
Erspamer began by launching a blog
where people could share their stories. Culp
went about looking for people to write letters,
which included launching a contest in
schools. Having worked on 20/20 and The
Oprah Winfrey Show, she also put her television
casting skills to work to round up people
willing to talk about their canine companions.
“I was blown away by how quickly celebrities
said yes and how excited they were,” says
Culp, who attributes the willingness to participate
to the fact that the book is “less about
them and more about celebrating their dogs.
Crisscrossing the country, Layton captured
moments of play, rest and, of course,
human adoration. The results are nothing shy
of aww-inspiring.
The celebration doesn’t stop with the
book. The website (www.alettertomydog.com)
offers expert pet advice, pointers to fun pet
products and the news (to this reporter’s
delight) that A Letter to My Cat is in the
works. The website also lets visitors upload
letters to and photos of their dogs.
-- Costco Connection, May 2013
[Touched by China looks like another interesting book]
Monday, June 30, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
TNR
ACCORDING TO MANY, we have a cat problem
in the U.S. With population estimates in the tens of
millions, ferals—felines who live their entire lives
outdoors with little or no human contact—are
everywhere. Which means that no matter where
you live or work, chances are there’s a colony nearby.
“People feed the cats, but then they call their
local shelter for help, and the shelter doesn’t know
what to do except tell them to get a trap and bring
them in,” says Costco member Becky Robinson,
president and co-founder of Alley Cat Allies (ACA).
Once at a shelter, though, the cats are “not going to
get adopted,” Robinson continues. “Seventy percent
of all cats taken to shelters are killed, and when it
comes to feral cats, virtually 100 percent are.”
It’s not only an unpleasant way of dealing with
them, but an ineffective one: “Euthanasia as a
method of population control isn’t cheap, easy or
quick,” notes Costco member
Dr. Margaret Slater, senior
director of veterinary epidemiology
for the American Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals (ASPCA). Robinson
cites the case of a large
Midwestern county that spent
$185 per cat to eradicate ferals,
numbering into the tens of
thousands of dollars annually.
“We’re talking about a massive
production line that ends the
lives of healthy animals, that’s
cruel and inhumane and a total
failure, [because] there are
more cats than ever,” she says.
That’s why ACA, the ASPCA and other organizations,
such as the Humane Society of the United
States (HSUS), advocate trap-neuter-return (TNR),
in which the animals are safely captured, sterilized
and vaccinated, then returned to their colony. This
stops breeding and limits the spread of diseases such
as rabies—crucial for all cats, says Slater, since
unneutered indoor pets may be allowed to roam.
TNR is also better for the cats: “It stabilizes the
colony and they’re not reproducing, so their health
improves,” Robinson concurs. And while kittens and
a few adult felines may be socialized and brought
inside, most cannot be.
-- Costco Connection, October 2013
in the U.S. With population estimates in the tens of
millions, ferals—felines who live their entire lives
outdoors with little or no human contact—are
everywhere. Which means that no matter where
you live or work, chances are there’s a colony nearby.
“People feed the cats, but then they call their
local shelter for help, and the shelter doesn’t know
what to do except tell them to get a trap and bring
them in,” says Costco member Becky Robinson,
president and co-founder of Alley Cat Allies (ACA).
Once at a shelter, though, the cats are “not going to
get adopted,” Robinson continues. “Seventy percent
of all cats taken to shelters are killed, and when it
comes to feral cats, virtually 100 percent are.”
It’s not only an unpleasant way of dealing with
them, but an ineffective one: “Euthanasia as a
method of population control isn’t cheap, easy or
quick,” notes Costco member
Dr. Margaret Slater, senior
director of veterinary epidemiology
for the American Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals (ASPCA). Robinson
cites the case of a large
Midwestern county that spent
$185 per cat to eradicate ferals,
numbering into the tens of
thousands of dollars annually.
“We’re talking about a massive
production line that ends the
lives of healthy animals, that’s
cruel and inhumane and a total
failure, [because] there are
more cats than ever,” she says.
That’s why ACA, the ASPCA and other organizations,
such as the Humane Society of the United
States (HSUS), advocate trap-neuter-return (TNR),
in which the animals are safely captured, sterilized
and vaccinated, then returned to their colony. This
stops breeding and limits the spread of diseases such
as rabies—crucial for all cats, says Slater, since
unneutered indoor pets may be allowed to roam.
TNR is also better for the cats: “It stabilizes the
colony and they’re not reproducing, so their health
improves,” Robinson concurs. And while kittens and
a few adult felines may be socialized and brought
inside, most cannot be.
-- Costco Connection, October 2013
Thursday, June 19, 2014
behavior shaping
Americans love animals. Statistics tell the story: Since the 1970s pet ownership in this country has tripled from approximately 67 million household pets 40 years ago to some 164 million in 2012, according to the Humane Society.
At the same time, Americans spent more on their pets than ever before, at least $50 billion in 2012, according to the same source.
But all is not rosy in the land of animal ownership. As people own more pets and bring them closer to their family circle, there are inevitably problems. This fact accounts for the immense popularity of shows such as Cesar Millan’s “Dog Whisperer,” in which the dog guru is able to correct seemingly any negative behavior that dogs demonstrate, restoring them to harmony with their families.
Mr. Millan’s mantra is that he does not treat problem dogs,but problem people. That is a theme echoed by Eddie Simon of Danbury, the East Coast version of Mr. Millan. Known locally as “Eddie the Dog Guy,” he has an ever-increasing reputation locally for being able to resolve canine problems.
Instead of obedience training, Mr. Simon advocates “behavior shaping.”
“When you take in a new dog, you want to shape its behavior,” he explained. “You want to teach it, ‘This is how we behave when the doorbell goes off. This is how we act when we go in the car.’ Most people cannot block unwanted behaviors. There are so many techniques out there and most work if you have the right relationship.”
The right relationship is essential because most corrective measures do not make sense to the dog otherwise. “I get a kick out of people who use a squirt bottle or rocks in a can,” he said. “The dog is listening to you because you are threatening him or distracting him. Neither will work for long. Time out for a child makes them think about what they have done, but putting a dog in time out in a crate does nothing for it. If a dog goes bonkers at a door when the doorbell rings, most get dragged by the collar to another room. My solution would be to stay right there and calm the dog before it moving to another room. Instead of just blocking unwanted behavior, we also need to show them what we want them to do. ”
Close observation of the animal is also needed. “People will say to me, ‘He loves to sit on the couch and watch the sidewalk.’ To me that means you have a territorial dog.”
He goes back to the theme of love, trust and respect. “I respect them for what they are—dogs. They are so natural and instinctual. They react to what is in front of them without agendas. When people have a problem relationship with a dog, people don’t call me and say, ‘I have a problem with my dog, how do I make it feel better?’ I tell them they won’t have a healthy relationship with the animal if only you get what you want. I tell clients, ‘OK, I know you want the dog to do this, this and that, but what would happen if you said that to your husband?’ I respect what the dog needs, too.”
He advocates teaching two commands, variations of which could be “right” and “wrong” or “do this” and “don’t do that.” “I have been studying animals my whole life,” he said. “What I am trying to do is to simplify. So many first-time dog owners need that information. I want to start a revolution based on behavior shaping.”
When called in to help, he starts with a home consultation. “Training generally works best on their own territory. I would say, on average, out of 10 cases, nine can be handled at home,” he said.
If the dog’s behavior cannot be modified at home, then correction escalates to “boot camp,” which can last up to 30 days. “It’s like picking up an Etch-a-Sketch and shaking it to start over,” he said. He said that if he has three clients who are afraid of thunderstorms, he can take all at once, but if a dog is aggressive he only introduces it one at a time to his own pack. “Aggressive dogs learn so much more from living with balanced dogs,” he said. “There is no question it can get better; it’s a question of what it takes.”
Mr. Simon does not believe that most people are too lenient with their animals, despite the close relationship many people have with their pets. “My dogs sleep on the couch and we have our hugs and kisses,” he said. “But people need to learn timing, when to allow certain things—and this is where people don’t have enough information. For instance, most people confuse excitement and happiness. If you come home and they are dancing on their toes and vibrating, and you say hi, you are feeding their excitement. They are relieved and happy you are home and can see you.” He suggests a more dignified reserve, similar to that of an alpha wolf.
“I do believe dogs can be happy, sad, can grieve—but they are different,” he said. “Dogs are smarter in my definition than people. They live more in the moment’s reality. Emotions don’t run a pack. An alpha wolf doesn’t walk over and tell them he loves them every day. Love, I believe, is expressed through direction.”
He said that in modern American homes, dogs end up being emotional sponges for humans. “That is one cause for aggression and anxiety,” he said. “People expect dogs to be Superman, to be the perfect partner. But we also have to respect their needs. A dog’s behavior is not how he is; it’s a reflection of what environment he is in. By not telling a dog what to do, we are causing stress. It ends up believing it has to carry the weight of a pack leader, which is feed, defend and take care of the pack. This behavior can take over at any point in life.”
Mr. Simon has spent the last decade as a canine consultant and is now in the process of affiliating with an animal rescue operation in Danbury called Tails of Courage. “That will be my new base,” he said. He is also forming a new LLC known as Eddie the Dog Guy. He can be reached via his Facebook page.
Asked what people should carry away about relationships with dogs, he said, “Keep your mind open when you are told that nothing can be done to help your dog.”
At the same time, Americans spent more on their pets than ever before, at least $50 billion in 2012, according to the same source.
But all is not rosy in the land of animal ownership. As people own more pets and bring them closer to their family circle, there are inevitably problems. This fact accounts for the immense popularity of shows such as Cesar Millan’s “Dog Whisperer,” in which the dog guru is able to correct seemingly any negative behavior that dogs demonstrate, restoring them to harmony with their families.
Mr. Millan’s mantra is that he does not treat problem dogs,but problem people. That is a theme echoed by Eddie Simon of Danbury, the East Coast version of Mr. Millan. Known locally as “Eddie the Dog Guy,” he has an ever-increasing reputation locally for being able to resolve canine problems.
“We euthanize way too many dogs in this country,” he asserted this week in a phone interview. “We need to try to cut that number down at the same time we need to lower the number of dog bites. Four-to-six million dogs are euthanized each year. The return rate for dogs in shelters is pathetic. I’ve been doing this professionally for a decade, and I know it’s at least one-third.”
Mr. Simon said he believes that the basis for the problem lies in unrealistic expectations on the part of humans. “Most people truly believe that dogs act the way they do in Disney movies, but when it comes to severe behavior problems they behave very differently,” he said. “It’s not that there is a lack of caring people who are trying to help—there are 8,000 registered rescues in Connecticut alone—but there is a lack of information. You can’t be a mechanic if you don’t know how a car works.”
This lack of information can be lethal for a dog. Most dogs are surrendered to shelters because of behavioral issues and, once in the system, are often returned time and again until they are put down. “It drives me up the wall because it all starts with a good dog,” Mr. Simon said. “People just don’t carry the right information. I catch a lot of flack from groups saying, ‘Why waste your time on vicious dogs?’ That California dog [that bit the toddler] didn’t come out of its mother vicious. Every one of my 18 dogs is proof of this. I’ve placed 60 dogs in the past decade, which doesn’t sound like much except that they all were rescued from death row—the toughest of the toughest. Most aggressive dogs can be turned around.”
The first step toward creating a healthy relationship with a dog is recognizing the difference between humans and canines. “I tell my clients that dogs need love, trust and respect,” Mr. Simon said. “Too many people have the wrong response when I tell them they need to be dominant. I try to explain that to be dominant, the alpha, you are the decision maker.”
This, he said, makes a dog feel secure.
“I like to watch wolf videos,” Mr. Simon continued. “When the alpha pair returns to a pack, they present themselves, they stand tall and the others are whimpering around them. But what do we do when we come home from work? We are talking and leaning over making [high-pitched] sounds they can’t understand but that sound subservient. We encourage the dog to take the dominant role by default. This is where anxiety or stress comes in.”
Humans typically try to establish dominance by resorting to obedience training, but this is not the answer, according to Mr. Simon. “Obedience training will not give you dominance,” he said. “You can teach them ‘sit, stay and heel’ and they will be like angels until there is a mailman, a cat or a squirrel. You can put 10 dogs through obedience class and I will bet 10 of them will have that one situation where the owners will have no control. Obedience training is not the natural way they communicate. Teach sit, come, stay, heel—when you have taught them that, it’s not like you are done for life.”
“When you take in a new dog, you want to shape its behavior,” he explained. “You want to teach it, ‘This is how we behave when the doorbell goes off. This is how we act when we go in the car.’ Most people cannot block unwanted behaviors. There are so many techniques out there and most work if you have the right relationship.”
The right relationship is essential because most corrective measures do not make sense to the dog otherwise. “I get a kick out of people who use a squirt bottle or rocks in a can,” he said. “The dog is listening to you because you are threatening him or distracting him. Neither will work for long. Time out for a child makes them think about what they have done, but putting a dog in time out in a crate does nothing for it. If a dog goes bonkers at a door when the doorbell rings, most get dragged by the collar to another room. My solution would be to stay right there and calm the dog before it moving to another room. Instead of just blocking unwanted behavior, we also need to show them what we want them to do. ”
Close observation of the animal is also needed. “People will say to me, ‘He loves to sit on the couch and watch the sidewalk.’ To me that means you have a territorial dog.”
He goes back to the theme of love, trust and respect. “I respect them for what they are—dogs. They are so natural and instinctual. They react to what is in front of them without agendas. When people have a problem relationship with a dog, people don’t call me and say, ‘I have a problem with my dog, how do I make it feel better?’ I tell them they won’t have a healthy relationship with the animal if only you get what you want. I tell clients, ‘OK, I know you want the dog to do this, this and that, but what would happen if you said that to your husband?’ I respect what the dog needs, too.”
He advocates teaching two commands, variations of which could be “right” and “wrong” or “do this” and “don’t do that.” “I have been studying animals my whole life,” he said. “What I am trying to do is to simplify. So many first-time dog owners need that information. I want to start a revolution based on behavior shaping.”
When called in to help, he starts with a home consultation. “Training generally works best on their own territory. I would say, on average, out of 10 cases, nine can be handled at home,” he said.
If the dog’s behavior cannot be modified at home, then correction escalates to “boot camp,” which can last up to 30 days. “It’s like picking up an Etch-a-Sketch and shaking it to start over,” he said. He said that if he has three clients who are afraid of thunderstorms, he can take all at once, but if a dog is aggressive he only introduces it one at a time to his own pack. “Aggressive dogs learn so much more from living with balanced dogs,” he said. “There is no question it can get better; it’s a question of what it takes.”
Mr. Simon does not believe that most people are too lenient with their animals, despite the close relationship many people have with their pets. “My dogs sleep on the couch and we have our hugs and kisses,” he said. “But people need to learn timing, when to allow certain things—and this is where people don’t have enough information. For instance, most people confuse excitement and happiness. If you come home and they are dancing on their toes and vibrating, and you say hi, you are feeding their excitement. They are relieved and happy you are home and can see you.” He suggests a more dignified reserve, similar to that of an alpha wolf.
“I do believe dogs can be happy, sad, can grieve—but they are different,” he said. “Dogs are smarter in my definition than people. They live more in the moment’s reality. Emotions don’t run a pack. An alpha wolf doesn’t walk over and tell them he loves them every day. Love, I believe, is expressed through direction.”
He said that in modern American homes, dogs end up being emotional sponges for humans. “That is one cause for aggression and anxiety,” he said. “People expect dogs to be Superman, to be the perfect partner. But we also have to respect their needs. A dog’s behavior is not how he is; it’s a reflection of what environment he is in. By not telling a dog what to do, we are causing stress. It ends up believing it has to carry the weight of a pack leader, which is feed, defend and take care of the pack. This behavior can take over at any point in life.”
Mr. Simon has spent the last decade as a canine consultant and is now in the process of affiliating with an animal rescue operation in Danbury called Tails of Courage. “That will be my new base,” he said. He is also forming a new LLC known as Eddie the Dog Guy. He can be reached via his Facebook page.
Asked what people should carry away about relationships with dogs, he said, “Keep your mind open when you are told that nothing can be done to help your dog.”
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Ginny Tiu has the gift
For most of us growing up, our biggest question was: What will I be?
But for a rare blessed few, that answer makes itself apparent at such a young age, there is no turning from it.
The gift is bestowed in place of choice, its power too great to fight; one is obliged to just see where it will carry you.
Names such as Tiger Woods, Quinn Sullivan and Yo-Yo Ma are among these.
But before them all was Ginny Tiu.
By the age of 3 she was playing songs on the piano that she had only heard, not been taught. By 5 she found herself at 1699 Broadway, playing for “Uncle Ed” as she called him, or Ed Sullivan for the rest of the world.
She was given audience to President John F. Kennedy, performed for Frank Sinatra and starred with Elvis Presley. The piano was her instrument, the world her audience. She even received the highest of all compliments that can be bestowed upon her by 1960s America: her own line of paper dolls.
But this story is not about what she was given, but what she gave back in return.
There is a sentiment from the New Testament, “From those to whom much is given, much is expected.” Or in French, Noblesse Oblige.
This is the motto of Maryknoll School, which will be honoring Tiu this Saturday at its 16th annual Monsignor Charles A. Kekumano Award and Scholarship Dinner for her lifetime of commitment to those who do not have a voice.
“I do what I do because I cannot not do it,” says Tiu, who resisted receiving the award at first. “I can’t stand if you see a person or an animal in need and you can do something about it, not trying. I don’t feel I should be getting an award for doing something that just feels right.”
She was swayed by former honorees Larry Rodriguez and Mi Kosasa, who told her that this award would give her a new audience for her message to help people and creatures alike that are true victims and need a hand.
This urge to help others transcends even her conscious memory. Her father used to tell Tiu about interviews they would do when they first emigrated from the Philippines when she was a mere 5 years old.
“They would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up,” says Tiu. “My dad would have to translate for me, and he told me that I said I wanted to be a missionary nurse. Where did that come from? They didn’t tell me to say that, I just wanted to be a nurse because I liked caring for people and trying to make them feel better.”
This dream never came true for the prodigy – her musical skills were too big to ignore, so she played the 88s at Carnegie Hall and other symphony houses the world over nine months out of the year.
Always on the go, she never attended regular school and despite that, or maybe because of it, she developed a very keen sense of what a human should be.
“It is important to not just teach our kids to be smarter, but to be better people,” says Tiu, who still performs at 53 by the Sea and Halekulani. “I have had a wonderful life, traveling, performing, meeting celebrities, but there is no greater joy than when you can help someone, whether it is an animal or a person, and you know that you have made their life better.”
It was discovering this joy that finally pinned Tiu down; a life spent traveling the world was finally locked down by the love of canine companions.
“At any given time I have between six and 10 dogs, some are mine and some are foster, so it makes it hard to travel,” says Tiu, who serves as vice chairwoman at the Humane Society. “I always say I am a prisoner of love, I don’t mind. The views (of the world) only touched my eyes, whereas these little guys touch my heartstrings. You see it, that is nice, take a picture, it doesn’t get too deep, but with these guys it is new every day, it never gets old.”
This love even forced her to move homes, as her oceanfront condo in Honolulu had a cap of only two dogs per unit, so she got herself a house in East Honolulu with a yard where they would have room to run and play.
Sometimes people ask her why she concerns herself with trying to help these few, when literally 9,000 dogs are euthanized in this country every day just because of space constraints.
“What makes me cry is when I see people or animals that are hurting, it really bothers me, and I just want to do everything I can,” says Tiu, the sister of former first lady Vicky Cayetano. “Why do you bother? You cannot even make a dent, but I tell them you can’t do it all, but it is not going to stop me from doing something.
“I would like to be remembered as someone who cares deeply for those who are truly vulnerable, do as much as I can to make things better for as many as I can.
“It’s not just an animal, it is another living creature.”
But for a rare blessed few, that answer makes itself apparent at such a young age, there is no turning from it.
The gift is bestowed in place of choice, its power too great to fight; one is obliged to just see where it will carry you.
Names such as Tiger Woods, Quinn Sullivan and Yo-Yo Ma are among these.
But before them all was Ginny Tiu.
By the age of 3 she was playing songs on the piano that she had only heard, not been taught. By 5 she found herself at 1699 Broadway, playing for “Uncle Ed” as she called him, or Ed Sullivan for the rest of the world.
She was given audience to President John F. Kennedy, performed for Frank Sinatra and starred with Elvis Presley. The piano was her instrument, the world her audience. She even received the highest of all compliments that can be bestowed upon her by 1960s America: her own line of paper dolls.
But this story is not about what she was given, but what she gave back in return.
There is a sentiment from the New Testament, “From those to whom much is given, much is expected.” Or in French, Noblesse Oblige.
This is the motto of Maryknoll School, which will be honoring Tiu this Saturday at its 16th annual Monsignor Charles A. Kekumano Award and Scholarship Dinner for her lifetime of commitment to those who do not have a voice.
“I do what I do because I cannot not do it,” says Tiu, who resisted receiving the award at first. “I can’t stand if you see a person or an animal in need and you can do something about it, not trying. I don’t feel I should be getting an award for doing something that just feels right.”
She was swayed by former honorees Larry Rodriguez and Mi Kosasa, who told her that this award would give her a new audience for her message to help people and creatures alike that are true victims and need a hand.
This urge to help others transcends even her conscious memory. Her father used to tell Tiu about interviews they would do when they first emigrated from the Philippines when she was a mere 5 years old.
“They would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up,” says Tiu. “My dad would have to translate for me, and he told me that I said I wanted to be a missionary nurse. Where did that come from? They didn’t tell me to say that, I just wanted to be a nurse because I liked caring for people and trying to make them feel better.”
This dream never came true for the prodigy – her musical skills were too big to ignore, so she played the 88s at Carnegie Hall and other symphony houses the world over nine months out of the year.
Always on the go, she never attended regular school and despite that, or maybe because of it, she developed a very keen sense of what a human should be.
“It is important to not just teach our kids to be smarter, but to be better people,” says Tiu, who still performs at 53 by the Sea and Halekulani. “I have had a wonderful life, traveling, performing, meeting celebrities, but there is no greater joy than when you can help someone, whether it is an animal or a person, and you know that you have made their life better.”
It was discovering this joy that finally pinned Tiu down; a life spent traveling the world was finally locked down by the love of canine companions.
“At any given time I have between six and 10 dogs, some are mine and some are foster, so it makes it hard to travel,” says Tiu, who serves as vice chairwoman at the Humane Society. “I always say I am a prisoner of love, I don’t mind. The views (of the world) only touched my eyes, whereas these little guys touch my heartstrings. You see it, that is nice, take a picture, it doesn’t get too deep, but with these guys it is new every day, it never gets old.”
This love even forced her to move homes, as her oceanfront condo in Honolulu had a cap of only two dogs per unit, so she got herself a house in East Honolulu with a yard where they would have room to run and play.
Sometimes people ask her why she concerns herself with trying to help these few, when literally 9,000 dogs are euthanized in this country every day just because of space constraints.
“What makes me cry is when I see people or animals that are hurting, it really bothers me, and I just want to do everything I can,” says Tiu, the sister of former first lady Vicky Cayetano. “Why do you bother? You cannot even make a dent, but I tell them you can’t do it all, but it is not going to stop me from doing something.
“I would like to be remembered as someone who cares deeply for those who are truly vulnerable, do as much as I can to make things better for as many as I can.
“It’s not just an animal, it is another living creature.”
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